The Beach - Part Two

Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog! I am well, thank you for asking. Some time has passed since the last entry about me beach adventure. And that is because I took some time off! Work-life balance is a thing yo. I actually went to the beach, succeeding in getting there this time. Let’s dive in.

On my third try to go to the beach, I finally got there.

I waited for the bus for a long time. The ride was a bumpy one, passing the remnants of old industrial grounds and a bridge that shook the bus up and down. Traffic was bad, at several points the driver got into a beeping war with other cars that cut him off.

Never mind not having a dream ride, I still had an idealistic idea about the beach! In my imagination, the beach is golden sand that glistens in the sun, clear blue water, and palm trees. I know that the palm trees part is a stretch because I am in Toronto Ontario, not Hawaii. But having been on a beach in Hawaii once many years ago, had set unrealistic expectations to all subsequent beaches.

I finally stepped out of the bus. What beholds me was sand filled with tree bark, debris, and garbage, with sea gulls coming by frequently to snack on them. The view was one of the smokestacks, a foggy sky, equally foggy water, and boring Ontario tamarack trees. It could not have been more underwhelming.

Three young twenty somethings also got on the beach. The skinny girl, wearing a strapless bikini, wiggled her bum around, doing a seduction dance in front of the boys. Something deeply pissed me off about this. This is just Clark Beach in Ontario! Not a Music Video! Are you here to relax or take humble-braggy photos so you can show off to your friends on Instagram? Cut it out! I realize I am becoming a middle-aged woman angry at youths.

I found a quiet spot by a tree and sat cross-legged on my Walmart beach towel. When I looked down, almost immediately, I realized a black bug the size of a finger had crawled onto my leg. Shocked at the size of him, I screamed “WHOA! BUDDY! Get OFF!”, and dusted him off. Should I move? Is this spot cursed? Wait, no, I’ve just been so attached to my mental image of an ideal beach I’d forgotten about nature. I took and deep breath, looked into the ruddy water, and repeated to my self: “This is the reality of a beach.” “This is the reality of a beach”.

Just when I was about to relax into the sound of the lake, a woman in what looked like a RED BALLGOWN appeared from the woods behind me. I swear I am not making this up. Holding the giant pieces of fabric, she flounced toward the water, a photographer followed behind her with a tripod. And then, another woman in an equally large, equally fabricsome black ball gown appeared behind him, yelling out in mandarin, “BE YOURSELF!” “RELAX!!” Her tone gave off a sense of panic. If I didn’t speak mandarin, I might’ve thought she was yelling “STOP! YOU’RE ABOUT TO FALL INTO THE WATER!” I’m sure being in a ball gown on a beach can bring out that kind of stress in people.

Despite the beach not living up to my expectations, the presence of bug, and ball-gown people, when I packed up my stuff to go home, I was happy. I did it! I got to the beach! Take that, Toronto!

That’s that you guys, that was my beach adventure. It is the end of summer, and I feel ready for fall! See you next week : )

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