No Ken at the Barbie Wedding

Welcome back to the blog, internetter! I wrote a thingy, please have fun reading!

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Girls who play with Barbies definitely think about romantic options for their Barbies. They’re just never Kens. Growing up, I didn’t know anybody who owned a Ken. The first Ken doll I saw looked cheap next to Barbie. Barbie had full shiny blonde hair, Ken’s hair wasn’t even hair, it was ridges on top of his head. And there was a huge visible gap where his head and his neck connected. That was unacceptable. 7 year old me wasn't impressed. A few years later, I saw a better looking Ken with real hair at Walmart. But I didn’t think he was Barbie’s boyfriend either. Because by then it was already universal knowledge that Ken was gay.

My favourite Barbie married a white teddy bear. They looked so interesting together. But I was always a tiny bit unsatisfied with that scenario. It's not that Mr Teddy Bear wasn't good enough, but surely someone like Barbie outta have a more theatrical life than to be just married off once. I never had a brother so I didn’t have access to boy’s toys. Imagine if I did. All the options… she could’ve gone out with a Transformer, or a whole bunch of Transformers!

Wouldn’t it be great if little girls gathered around to have a group Barbie wedding? We’d get to see so many different toy husbands... Barbie and Megatron, Barbie and The Abominable Snowman, Barbie and one of the Power Rangers, Barbie and all the Power Rangers, Barbie and Cobra Commander, Barbie and Teddy Ruxpin, Barbie and other Barbie. There would be no Kens. Because Kens are off getting married on their own, possibly to other Kens. The one Ken who is either in the closet or in denial, would soon realize that he’s the only Ken at the wedding, decide he doesn’t want to live a lie anymore and run off. Poor Barbie. Its okay, it’s for the best.