Hi guys, this week I want to tell you about my high school teachers. Do you like your teachers? I’ve had many good ones. And a few bad ones. Well, they were not “bad”, we just didn’t get each-other. Sometimes it happens. Not all teachers mean the same to everyone. There were two teachers that I remember distinctively, Mr. Schmidt and Mr. Cruikshank, and I want to tell you about them.
Mr. Schmidt taught history. He was very popular, everyone loved him and all the girls thought he was handsome. That's fine, because Mr. Schmidt was handsome. He looked like a Jim Carrey who didn't make silly faces, and always wore a white shirt and carried a book with a burgundy hardcover. He told us on the first day we saw him, that his wife a beautiful blonde who wore a red dress when they met. I immediately thought he had a perfect life.
When Mr. Schmidt made a joke, everyone in my class laughed. I didn't get them, but I laughed anyway. He made a joke about how his wife had never dated anyone except for him, because she was too shy with men despite being extremely beautiful. I thought that wasn't funny but she was amazing. She was beautiful and chaste and she married the first guy she dated? Good for Mr. Schmidt! Later that year, he told us another joke about her grinding with two other men while he went to buy drinks. I continued to be amazed because now she was not only beautiful and chaste, but also fun. Mr. Schmidt really lucked out.
When the kids at my school had “Who is the coolest teacher in your school” survey, Mr. Schmidt won every time. He was smart, handsome, and funny. Plus, he had a drop-dead gorgeous wife. But I don't remember anything Mr Schmidt said. I only remember the one time we spoke, he mistook me for Sara Wong, the other Asian girl in my class.
I had another teacher named Mr. Cruikshank. He was also handsome, but he didn't wear a white shirt or carry a book. He wore polo shirts of all sorts of colours, and when he tucked them into his trousers you could see his belly protruding a little against the hard leather belt. He was popular as well, but not in the same way Mr. Schimdt was. Everyone liked him, but they didn't think he was smarter than them, and they didn't envy his life. The girls didn't say “Mr. Cruikshank is hot” and they didn't want to marry him. The boys didn't look at Mr. Cruikshank with a glint in their eye. Mr. Cruikshank was never on the list for the “Who is the coolest teacher in your school” survey. But When Mr. Cruikshank made a joke, I laughed. And it wasn't because everyone else laughed. To this day, I still remember a lot of the things he said.
He told us how frustrated he was sometimes, when he came home from work and his children were being loud.
He was the first person who made me question the importance of patriotism. It was the first time I heard anyone admit that they never wanted to enlist in a war.
I don't recall Mr. Cruikshank talking about his wife, but I do remember they had children together and adopted more children from China and Vietnam.
One time, he told me and my friend that it was insensitive of us to use a stuffed animal as a place-holder for a suicidal person during our presentation. At the time, I was disappointed that our comedic efforts weren't appreciated. But I didn't get angry at him.
I once saw Mr. Cruikshank at the library, but I didn't say anything.
There was no doubt Mr. Schmidt was the most popular teacher, but I wonder if other people from my class also can't remember anything he said. I don't know why, a part of me hopes they don't. I wonder the same for Mr. Cruikshank, but it doesn't matter that much.